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A humorous ditty

Christopher Isherwood

(He composed this ditty, sung to the tune of “Bye, Bye, Blackbird”.)

There was a man lived in Bengal:
He had no ego, none at all,
Never wore a derby hat,
Taught his devotees “Thou art That”.
Krishna, jai, jai!For he prayed and prayed and prayed so hard he
Kept on going right into samadhi.
You could yell in his ear and tickle his toe
And pull his beard, for he’d never know.
Krishna, jai, jai!

G. C. Ghosh he was no monk,
Showed up one evening rolling drunk,
So Ramakrishna
Said, “Why waste dough on liquor, you fool,
When the bliss of God’s got a kick like a mule?”
Krishna, jai, jai!

In came Naren as fresh as paint,
Said, “My, your old superstitions are quaint!”
So Ramakrishna
Put his foot on his chest and began to press
Till the kid didn’t know his home address.
Krishna, jai, jai!

Keshab said, “I wish you’d been
With me in London when I met the Queen.”
But Ramakrishna
Said, “Listen, old boy, and don’t get cross,
I don’t have to meet her ’cause I know her boss.”
Krishna, jai, jai!

M. wrote down his words for publication;
Now they’re read throughout the Hindu nation.
And in fifty more years, we are such dopes,
We’ll have made him a church with priests and popes.
Krishna, jai jai!